"Next Blog"

I clicked on "Next Blog" up at the top of the page a couple of times to test what came up. Let's say I did this about 10 times. 6 of those 10 times, the blog that came up revolved around food, exclusively food. One was some single mom sharing recipes, another was a couple and their food-related travels, and another was a guy that really likes bacon.

Avid food blog reader.

3 of those 10 blogs were religious in some way. The 3 I saw were Christian, but I am sure there are Islamic, Jewish, Hindu, Sikh blogs, etc. These were the boring ones.

1 of 10 was a completely pointless blog that I didn't want to read. Kind of like this one. Which led me to wonder, what makes a popular blog? There's the obvious: Being famous, appealing to a subculture, being associated with a bigger more popular website. But what is a small timer to do? Here's the answer: Nothing. There is nothing desirable about having a popular blog. A wise man once said "Fans are clingy complaining dipshits that are never happy no matter how many concessions you give them." Why would you want a bunch of people reading your blog that you don't get paid for? So they could say things like "Gee whiz, that was a long time since your last entry, why don't you type entries most regularly so that I can complain that they aren't even MORE frequent"? You don't need that!

Get away from us, we don't like you anymore.




Anyway, point of the post: We, as a people, need to stop being so fucking obsessed with food that we devote entire blogs to it. What the fuck?

The True Meaning of Christmas is...

... Beating Resident Evil 4 on Professional difficulty, obviously. I often think about these time-honoured traditions, such as battling the Village Boss (whatever his name is) to get the eye and dying a couple of times because I am too cocky, and I think "How could I ever have these valuable rituals if I had kids?" The answer is that I couldn't, they would be eating the controllers and shitting all over the game.



He's comin' over to babysit.

My dear friends recently had a little girl, some other friends of mine (less dear, but still okay) recently announced that they are expecting a round little baby. The first couple don't play video games so the baby can be their new hobby, but the second couple are pretty selfish! I mean, coooome on. This guy is late to everything! How is he supposed to look after a baby when all he wants to do is play Arkham Asylum?

Anyway, all babies and video games aside, the true meaning of Christmas is to watch Christmas movies just because you can. Cancel your motherfuckin' plans, sit your fat ass down, and watch the greatest movie of them all "A Christmas Story." Not because it is a good movie, because you have nothing to do. It's even got rabbits!



Oh Aunt Martha, when will you learn?

I can hear you now "O, BFG, I would if I could but I have to do X, Y, and Z." I don't care, cancel that shit and chill out. Christmas break isn't about doin' stuff, it's about doin' nothing or slightly more than nothing, such as beating a game you basically have memorized for the 80th time.

Whoa whoa whoa... Whoa

The posting of (potentially) fat chick titties is taking your comeback tour one step too far, LF.

Bunnies and Football

Unfortunately, Rocktober is past -- leaving us with November, a month which can only claim fame as the month political assassinations go down, or harbor bombings are plotted.

Fortunately, we can remember the spirit of Rocktober (or at least the picture of it) with this similar poster, as stolen from a fine competing blog to this humble one. Let this be my ode to professional football in all of its sorts, especially the amateur-esque qualities of CIS football.



And, as well, a cute bunny photo, to liven things up more, as stolen from cute overload. Did things ever get sappy here while I was gone. Perhaps I'll break out the recipe book for my favorite brownies next.

Bunnies

They're pretty fuckin' awesome.

Just because everyone likes it...

... Doesn't mean it isn't total shit. Or over-hyped to an embarrassing degree. This is especially true if, say, someone that is your friend is telling you that something you made is "AWESOME!" They don't truly mean that, by standards that apply to the rest of the world, what you have done is awesome. They mean "considering you are a person I know and I never knew you to (a) blog, (b) be creative, (c) do whatever, what you have just done is pretty awesome."

Thus, when one is undertaking something for general consumption, anonymity is the key. Otherwise, people that LIKE YOU ALREADY will tell you they love it and people that don't know you will tell you your face is stupid. Therefore, when it comes to stuff you create, your friend's opinions don't count. Unless they are being honest with you. Just hitting you with platitudes should be your first clue that they are just humouring you. Fucking moron.

Real friends will tell you if you are being a fucking moron.

Anticipation!

Soon my love, soon. Be still, they'll hear you.