Fat Fuckin' Burger!

Fatburger is the bizzle bomb, yo! Number one burger place in Calgary, bar none.

Hack Attack

Some guy that wrote one semi-sweet book back in the 80's doesn't like gay people. My point: Who cares. This has the same earth-shattering impact as a lame tv actor making a homophobic comment. Point is, what these nobodies think is of zero importance. And who the motherfuck cares about Orson Scott Card? The guy stretched out one book that WASN'T THAT GOOD into a questionable legacy and now the geeks of the present are all torn up that this dime-a-dozen author said that he doesn't like gay marriage.

The guy wrote a book that lots of people have read in the past 20 years, and a bunch more that no one likes/bothered to read. We should not care about his opinion. He shouldn't even be relevant any more.

Fat Chicks

Let's get one thing straight off the bat: There is nothing wrong with fat people in and of themselves. They are sometimes jovial, sometimes depressive, love food, and the ladies generally have big titties. And EVERYONE, male and female, loves big titties.

However, at the bar on Saturday, this one big girl came up to me and started talking. I was giving her the time of day, so she probably interpreted that as "Being totally into her!!!" Then my nipples suffered under her awesome assault! Thing is, it wasn't so bad. If all fat girls come up to you and start feeling you up, then I am going to have to start hitting on fat chicks EXCLUSIVELY. Then I would feel like a million bucks anywhere I go.

I will only be talking to fat girls, starting now. Sorry skinnies, but you had your chances. All you did was act kinda neurotic and have low self esteem. Onward, to the well-adjusted blob-people!